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Generic barman.png Barman.png
Access: Bar
Difficulty: Easy
Supervisors: Head of Personnel
Duties: Serve booze to everyone! Mix drinks
Guides: Guide to food and drinks

You are one half of the Maltese Falcon.

The Bar



  • Armor vest: don't underestimate the value of this in blocking damage
  • Shotgun
  • A shaker for mixing drinks
  • Formal closet containing two formal uniforms like what you start wearing, two pairs of black shoes and two top hats. There is an additional top-hat on the bar.
  • Booze-O-Mat, your ID-locked best friend and container of all that is alcoholic.
  • Beer locker, beer keg, vending machines and an mixer, all inside your storage room.
  • Your loyal assistant, Pun Pun. Has a tendency to push people around, be abused and get harvested for meat by the chef.

Your shotgun

Your shotgun is double-barrelled. It can hold two shells at once and fire both in quick succession. Clicking it in your hand will break the shotgun, causing the shells inside to fall to the floor. It starts loaded with two beanbag shells, and you start with extra ones in your bag.

You can get more shells using cargo's autolathe. Lethal shells (red) do sixty brute damage, beanbag shells (green) do ten brute damage and knock people down, darts do five toxin damage, and blank (white) shells do nothing. Autolathes can create circular saws, which you can use to saw off your shotgun so it can fit in your bag. If you do this while the gun is loaded, it will go off in your face.

Tending to your Bar

You have a whole bunch of spirits in your handy Booze-o-mat vending machine, with which to mix all manner of drinks.

Difficulty is minimal, but bar fights can get deadly if your most valued patrons are too drunk to intervene. People also love to murder people having a good time in the bar, especially if you start serving Beepsky Smashes.

Human Controlled Pun Pun!

Is that NPC Pun Pun too boring for you? Well now you can turn someone into Pun Pun! First take Pun Pun to genetics and get him scanned in those fancy machines. You want to scan UI+UE and SE. Inject the victim willing participant with the SE first and wait til he becomes a monkey. Second inject him with the UI+UE and tada! Player controlled Pun Pun. Take him back to the bar and have him dance on the table tops for space cash. The old Pun Pun can be given to the chef to quench the evil desires of that wretched machine of his. If you want to communicate with the new Pun Pun be sure to get a pAi. If your monkey friend is too quick to leave you don't fret! Monkeys can be handcuffed, so just handcuff him to chair. Now he can NEVER LEAVE!

Serving up a cool glass of pain

Traitor barman has it hard. You only start with Bar access. If you're not in the bar when someone inevitably shows up, expect them to try to break in or call attention to your absence. You have one advantage in that you spawn with a potentially lethal weapon nearby, voiding the need for a revolver or similar item. You'll need the QM or a Cargo Technician's help to get lethal shells, however. They can use your shotgun to bust open locked crates, so see if you can't strike a mutually beneficial deal with them.

Head into the maintenance tunnel north of the bar and go east for shades. Use of an emag and your shotgun may help you for assassinations. It is best to stay around the bar as much as you can, as you will look suspicious if a million people want a drink at the bar.

Some of your drinks can have... beneficial effects. If you get the ingredients for Beepsky Smash or Neurotoxin, you have an instant stun. Or you could just go the old-fashioned down and dirty route and poison drinks outright.

Jobs on /tg/station

Command: Captain, Head of Personnel

Security: Head of Security, Security Officer, Warden, Detective

Engineering: Chief Engineer, Station Engineer, Atmospheric Technician

Science: Research Director, Scientist, Roboticist

Medical: Chief Medical Officer, Medical Doctor, Chemist, Geneticist, Virologist

Civilian: Quartermaster, Cargo Technician, Shaft Miner, Janitor, Bartender, Chef, Botanist, Assistant, Clown, Mime, Chaplain, Librarian, Lawyer

Non-human: AI, Cyborg, Personal AI, Construct, Ghost

Antagonist: Traitor, Changeling, Nuclear Agent, Wizard, Xenomorph, Space Ninja

Special: Death Squad Officer, Ian